The house of flower

As I was passing by a street,

Looking for the idea called life,

I was faced by the idea called insecurity instead,

A beautiful curiosity,

The myth of why,

I got to have only one flower,

While a house had a garden,

I didn’t want to be envious of it,

After all the flowers were wild,

And the house deserved the nature’s blessing,

While me on the other hand,

Was a man made product,

Consistently trying to correct itself,

Stand in elegance,

And fall in a delight,

Wanting to be perfectly cut like a diamond,

Kept in a case,

Be presented to the one and only,

Be presented as a solitaire,

Maybe I didn’t deserve the flowers of that house,

Maybe I only deserved the petals of the flower that fell from that tree,

The flower that fell from the tree,

What a sight!

Eyes are eyes, Vagina is vagina

It is how the safest place for you to be, can turn out to be the place where you end up feeling the most suffocated at. The place where you cherish your laughter, childhood, silly pranks, innocence and how it can also turn out to be the place where you buried your consistent cries for help, silently wishing somebody would understand how it would feel for an eight year old to be touched, somebody who has no knowledge of even their body parts. Two hands to draw, to paint, to build, two legs to walk, to cycle, to run, to fall, a tongue to taste that tempting dessert, a stomach to digest, a nose to smell the flowers, lips to make a smile, or put your mother’s lipstick and act like an adult, two glittering eyes to see and appreciate the world, two ears to listen to your parents, teachers and sometime to the little bird in your garden. Perhaps telling children about their sexual parts, giving their sexual parts appropriate and correct names was not the correct approach. While as children you could have been taught about the rape culture, molestation, catcalling, sexism, and how to not feel like a second gender, you were in fact taught about the outfits you would wear, the colors that would match your gender, how to be an ideal child who does not answer back, who does not lie to their parents. It was focused only how to be a child who was good at athletics, academics, had a good general knowledge and who would obey their elders, whatever the situation may be. While your parents were busy getting you ready for the rat race, somebody tried to grope you in school, a sibling pushed their fingers inside you, and an elder raped you when everyone was away, and you were asleep. It was that time when you find yourself uncomfortably with someone who’s getting something inside of you, inside of the place from where you urinate-and you don’t know what that place is called. It happens almost every day, every night, it happens when everybody is gone and it happens whenever and wherever this person finds you alone and it happens when you are with everyone. From having to sit on a dinner table, in a classroom, at a café with friends and laugh with the one who kept raping you for years, to making yourself believe that it does not matter and it does not affect.
A lot of sexual violence cases go unheard when someone is not able to communicate the event to anybody else. Many children suffer sexual abuse and as a parent, you simply never get to know. During childhood, kids are being taught of the body parts, but there is no mention of their sexual organs. Even if it is mentioned in a biology class later on, you will hear giggles and feel shame. While it is easy for a child to talk about how she/he fell and hurt their knee, it is almost impossible for them to come up and talk about how they were being catcalled, molested or raped, to their own families. It is a conversation that merely any parent has with their child, but it should undeniably be an important discussion between the two parties. Instead of giving a vagina or a penis a cute or a vague nickname, it is necessary for the parents to break the taboo and let their kids know about their bodies completely, let their kids know about the anatomical names so that they do not destigmatize their body parts. This will give them full ownership of their bodies, instead of making them feel ashamed of having a vulva, a clit, or testicles. To give your child a language which is healthy will only help them to understand that it is not bad or dirty to talk about it. It is important because it helps avoiding the confusion and makes the communication effective, and eventually makes them feel that it is alright to talk about your private parts. It is required because they need to know that their bodies belong to them and they should make well thought decisions concerned with them. This is the way empower your children, adding one power at a time.
When you become the source of the answers that their inquisitive mind has, they will not have to find some other source to get their explanations.

The sunflower

It was probably the way they lived their lives, that they forgot about how essential it was to stop in that afternoon to watch the sunflower tilt towards the sunlight while it trembled and unlifted itlsef and moved and danced to the tune of the sun in a harmony that couldn’t be felt, music that was unsung in my town. 

In my town we had different rules, we had fear, we had rare laughter, motivated by other’s interests. 

In my town we forgot to understand how beautiful it was to slowly grow, grow for yourself, so I’ll meet you on the outskirts of my town. That’s exactly the place I meet myself, talk to myself, and as I sit with a heavy heart, I can’t stop thinking about the things which makes the tears unstoppable, but life’s better on the outskirts.

I watched the sunflower trembling, and I knew it was growing. 


Beauty defined by the words,
Meanings derived by the the men,
Honor divided between the legs,
Respect given by the people who least deserve it,
Sleepless nights and no directions,
Situations reaching out to me,
like I’m reaching out for you.


There had to be a thing about the nights,
while we sobbed all night,
the moon came down to tell me it’s alright,
but the night still wrapped me in the sadness and took it away,
while we danced with the remorse all night,
the stars shone bright,
but suddenly there was no light,
while I missed you tonight,
the memories stayed beside me to tell me we had more time,
but I knew the hate would kill it all,
while the life stood between it’s course,
our breath waited for a while to live a life,
hope stood for the morning light.
There had to be a thing about the nights,
it made me kill myself tonight.

Letters to yourself

While you are constantly trying to battle the world’s set perceptions, while even now when you type the simplest words, forming sentences and forming doubts if it should be talked about or not, if it’s honest enough or not, if it’s strong enough to provoke a thought or not, I hope you’re able to set in the darkness for a while till you find the courage to be who you are, and think like you only you could.
While you are constantly trying to hide, I hope you believe in your light that speaks truth and strength.
While you are consistently pushing yourself to grow, I hope you are also able to detect how you limit yourself and also you cross the boundary in style.
While you are standing at the edge of the circle, I hope you find the reason to tip toe your way to the other side, to the other dimension, where the voice is understood and heard.
While you are running the rat race, I hope you don’t forget to pick up the flowers and swing with laughter that hurts and love that feels so warm.
While you are trying to kill the hatred outside, I hope you are not feeding the wrong side within.
While you are mesmerized by the beauty of the red rose, I hope you are dazzled by the light of the wildflower,
While you are looking for the light all the time, I hope you understand it is to understand the darkness,
While you are finding the inspiration from the materials, I hope you find what moves you,
While you are waiting for the approval, I hope you’ve already made the decision of getting up and taking the walk,
While you are living the life of others, I hope you find out what it means to create a life of own,
While you are constantly trying to battle the world’s set perceptions, I hope that you believe in the radiance of hope.

The slumbering verity

We had our own set of troubles,
we had our own set of lies,
from a distance everything’s alright.

Our wonderful sets of greys,
Tonight I don’t want to care about yours,
I’ve been awake all night to tell you how I hate,
I’ve been awake all night scribbling ink on paper,
I’ve been awake all night just lying,
I’ve been awake all night listening to the dance of the clock,
I’ve been awake all night losing the bones that scream perfection,
I’ve been awake all night touching the existence,
I’ve been awake all night pushing everyone away,
I’ve been awake all night, wanting to pull you a little closer,
I’ve been awake all night, wanting a little more of the extinct,
I’ve been awake all night planning, dissecting, drinking and observing,
I’ve been awake all night to fill the empty room,
I’ve been awake all night emptying the filled room,
I’ve been awake all night trying to correct myself,
I’ve been awake all night lying to myself,
I’ve been awake all night ignoring the real,
I’ve been awake all night running fingers in my mind,
I’ve been awake all night hating myself,
my wonderful sets of grey,
Tonight I don’t care about yours,

I had my own set of troubles,
I had my own set of lies,
from a distance everything’s alright.

The life of Life

The road to create something new always takes a lot of effort, takes a lot of life out of you. What you want is something that has never been seen but everything’s “a copy of a copy” right? Still you want to dive into the risk of swinging on the edge of the world, swinging on the edge of criticism till it kicks you, almost kills you, taking every shred of your existence in the sky till you reach to the point where you have unlearned what you have ever known. You’re no longer a smart person, not even wise but just somebody who is stuck in one dimension of time and simply can not move forward. No motivation (but do you ever need motivation in the first place if it really moves you?) can trigger you to move to the point from where you started, trigger you to the point from where you found your strength, your purpose. PURPOSE, has the pop culture pushed you too much to find one or just make up one, because it’s too cool? Self-actualization. What if the self actualized thought leads you to the point where it makes sense BUT, why are people supposed to do good deeds as they reach the self actualized themselves? Does the society play a role in the determining in how you are supposed to be? Isn’t the society constantly determining “HOW TO BE YOURSELF?”
The road to create something new takes up a whole lot of life while you realize who have just sat at one place and wondered all along as you see the life passing by. Where is it leading to anyway?

The night 

Do you listen to the silence that I narrate?  

While I stroke my hair with my fragile hands, look at my fingers in the dark, the silhouette that covers my colour and bares my soul, while in my head I keep reciting the stories of how we’d meet in the coming days. 

Do you hear the silence? 

The answers that we don’t get 

​A large part of life goes into thinking how it must be, what colours should we call as favourite, till when should we stand under the shadow to free ourselves from the idea of light, how to join the alphabets so that you pay attention to the petty feelings, till when should we contemplate the dreams we have at night, till when should we keep the hope alive, till when should we keep the sun burning, all by its own, till when should we keep the true selves waiting under the fake plastic world, till when do we have to keep that smile?