Be Yourself 

​Maybe it’s the world which has a lot of perceptions about you, your style, your idea, your way, your manner, your smile, your curves, your edges, your bones, your soul, a lot of perceptions about how you should be, defining the phrase “Be Yourself” to the point that you don’t know who you are! 

But hey, you do. You do know the length of hair that suits you, the laugh that makes you really feel happiness, the music that gives you chill, the outfit that gives you confidence to take over the world, words that make you a badass! Damn you already got it.

Nope, not trying to fit into the clan of self help books’ writers but addressing something that may have crossed your mind.

What does it mean?

​I was rarely inside the world, typically  standing on the boundaries of the wild, crazy soul, contemplating how this dot kept revolving and rotating and how everyone kept running for a name that they didn’t really know the meaning of, place which they didn’t like, yet smiled for the reasons that were untrue, lived the seasons that they didn’t have to; contemplated how the world moved so fast while I sat here with my umbrella, looking at the rain. 

The chance

In the wake of the thousand words that we spill tonight,
you mustn’t be afraid of taking the chance,
while we are still drunk on the idea of intimacy,
the only truth that sets us apart is that the mirage exists,
the only lie that brings us close is that the ghosts of past matter,

In the wake of the thousand words that we spill tonight,
the air’s not filled with alphabets yet,
amazed by how the scent of your skin laughs with the empty space,
tell me the message you send to the stars,
tell me the about silence you don’t share with them,

In the wake of the thousand words that we spill tonight,
do you ever notice the beauty of the sadness in a smile?
while you look away and keep reciting endless stories to yourself,
play the music that kisses you goodnight,
play the music that embraces you on your coldest winter,

In the wake of the thousand words that we spill tonight,
wish to take you away from the home,
walk the yard of loneliness together,
listen to what the wind has to say,
listen to how love shatters,

In the wake of the thousand words that we spill tonight,
let’s just wear the dark night,
fill the place with warmth,
gaze, as long as we can,
gaze, till the spirit’s impelled.

We break together

I’ve fallen for the letters that you callously write. with an error like a drunk man trying to walk. The ones that you draw like a child and fill with happiness and emotion. Letters that you remembered from the early day sunshine but nobody cared to listen.
So you decidrd to write, I guess.
So you wanted to become the story-teller. Talk to me about your imperfrctions, your wonderful flaws that make you feel guilty and make me laugh. Talk to ke about the mistakes you made but now you want to belive that they were meant to be and you learnt life from them.

Come on give me the sad broken pieces of your heart, I promise to repair and give you a happy song in return.

I’ve fallen for how you beautifully you break.

Letters to yourself

I had no big words to tell you that your sufferings will end, that you’ll find someone to love in the end, you’ll find your song, your soul, your music, your dance step, your favourite book finally, your favourite poet, you’ll find yourself looking in the mirror smiling back, you’ll find the light, the right time to kiss, your moment of glory.

I had no big words to explain the circle of life and why I’d always believed in the power of warmth, I know the separation nearly killed you the last time, I know the stories you recite to your pillow, the words that you embellish with pain, I know how you touch yourself when he’s gone.

I had no big words to tell you that I loved you. I try to join the alphabets, I try hard not to be fragile but my choice of words love vulnerability but you wanted thick skin. I try not to picture about the roses of the past, I try not to remmeber the fragrance of the place, I try not to be stuck in the past which is yours that I rmemeber once I was a part of.

I had no big words, but whenever they ask about you, I don’t know what to say, yet I bleed with words.

The wildflower

The other night I was fascinating the beautiful flowers, the red, the pink, the blue, the white, the yellow and the purple. They’d make you feel the beauty in them, probably make you smile, as your heart will sing the lost song and you want to pick it up, bring it home.
Take a turn and look at the wildflower,
Doesn’t it make you want to smile more?
Take it home with you?
The one that makes you think,
Not just a picturesque,
Growing like a mess with no definite ends,
Talking to you without being so beautiful,
Has your love ever been so raw that the silence echoes,
That you forget about the pretty reds and pinks,
That you stand at the edge while you wipe the tear,
Staring at the wildflower.

Doesn’t it make you feel more?

My anonymity

‘The time I broke my anonymity

I realized,
that love wasn’t coming from a gender,
that I wasn’t supposed to sit and fit like them,
that it was okay to collapse (even stars do),

The time I broke my anonymity,

I noticed,
that there was not supposed to be a beginning nor an end,
that there was no right or wrong,
that the time I lost, was actually when I won,

The time I broke my anonymity,

I knew,
I didn’t need a brush to paint,
I could make as many mistakes I wanted,
I had flaws,

The time I broke my anonymity,

I saw,
there was an inside more to the outside.’

Little things from a usual big life

I am not good with words and conversations with people isn’t a treat for me,
but lately it fell upon me on how every person has a special something:
a special talent, a special fingerprint, a special taste, a special smile,
something special that makes them precious, just like an art piece.
Just like an art piece which is not supposed to be pretty or beautiful,
but has to ability to evoke the living in the dead.

I am not good with people, but lately it fell upon me, that every person you meet is an art piece and it’s mesmerizing

Dream

Did I forget to dream, as the clouds of ambition raced? 

With the constant fight with inner self and constant battle of trying to breathe, eat, live, look, stay better, circumstances hit you hard to the core.  When the valleys of life go rough, and when finally you stand in front of the tallest mountain, you decide to rest.
You decide to rest, or maybe just keep walking slowly or for the sake of it. Just because you had chose this journey and you chose this particular mountain. The pressure of the goal was gone, the motivation didn’t accompany me anymore. Did I blame the muddy way? Did I blame that person who went back half way, leaving me alone. Did I look for the rocks when I should be looking for pebbles.

Did I forget to dream as the clouds of ambition raced?

The Actor

Pick it up and read the script,

“Pink is for girls,
and blue is for boys,
Look how she smiles and swirls,
Hide the pain, and the joys.
You remember, I’ll define!”

Words kept spinning in the dark room of thoughts,
Life was teaching a lesson,
It wasn’t just me,
It caught my best friend and I caught her in tears,
She whispered for help,
And I acted,
Glorified the busy,
Flipped the phone,
Switched to a person who wouldn’t care,
Sent her words through technology,
Never really consoled.

Then it happened the other night,
He walked away with a smarter girl,
Took a look back at me once,
Gave the silence and the smile,
I always kept, never returned,
And I acted,
Distanced as if he didn’t matter,
Laughed like it didn’t hurt,
Stayed quiet as I couldn’t shout,
Carried myself in elegance,
Like I never broke.

Pink is for girls,
and blue is for boys,
Look how she smiles and swirls,
Hide the pain, and the joys.
You remember, I’ll define!

The sweeter words of the sweeter time,
“Nothing harsh, no failures this time,
Shut up and stop taking risks,
Quit the experiment already!”

“Yes ma’am it will happen this time!” said a smile,
“No ma’am I will not cry” said the teary eyes,
“Oh come on darling, I am totally okay!” said an aching heart,
“No, I don’t need you to hold my hand”

The actor turns off the lights,
World kept writing the dialogues,
Asking you to believe in God,
Smarter,
More beautiful,
More feminine,
More masculine,
Stronger,
Sexier,
than you were before,

World kept writing the dialogues,
‘Pink is for girls,
and blue is for boys,
Look how she smiles and swirls,
Hide the pain, and the joys.
You remember, I’ll define’

Pick it up and burn it!